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| First reading |
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| Ecclesiasticus 3:2-6,12-14 © |
He who fears the Lord respects his parents
The Lord honors the father in his children,
and upholds the rights of a mother over her sons.
Whoever respects his father is atoning for his sins,
he who honors his mother is like someone amassing a fortune.
Whoever respects his father will be happy with children of his own,
he shall be heard on the day when he prays.
Long-life comes to him who honors his father,
he who sets his mother at ease is showing obedience to the Lord.
My son, support your father in his old age,
do not grieve him during his life.
Even if his mind should fail, show him sympathy,
do not despise him in your health and strength;
for kindness to a father shall not be forgotten
but will serve as reparation for your sins.
I remember in my youth that when my grandmother died, my grandfather came to live with us. There was no question about it, he just did. That was how it was done back in the 1960s and 1970s. I believe the concept of family was stronger back then. I am not saying this because I am a boomer and want to reflect favorably on the good old days. I just want to point out how things have changed.
Today, in similar circumstances, many families would start using a web service to find a place for the widowed or widower to live. In a way, this makes sense. Old people take up our time and we have so much to do, so many places to go to, so many things that eat up our time. Time is the one thing we never have enough of.
By doing this, we deprive ourselves of learning from the older generation. Our children hear the stories of their grandparent's youth. They won't know how they compare to their ancestors. This is because grandpa or grandma is in a home, out of sight and out of mind.
One of my prized possessions is a cassette tape that I made one day when I was grampa sitting while the rest of the family was on an out to town trip for a few days. It captured the moments between grampa and me talking and me listening to him play the harmonica for me. I will never forget those days, they are very precious to me.
I understand that sometimes there is no choice. The ravages of time can make the care of an aging parent difficult and sometimes professional help is needed. Dementia and Alzheimers take no prisoners and can cause behavior that is dangerous for others and for grandma and grampa themselves.
What the writer in our reading today is telling us that no matter what we need to care for our extended families and that no matter what, respect and love are always to be given to them even if their mind fails.
