Fear of the Unknwon

"Precious in the eyes of the LORD   
is the death of his faithful ones."

My first experience with death happened in 1959 when my father's mother passed away.  The sad news was passed to my father by phone when we arrived back home from a fishing trip.  I cannot remember if my father cried when he heard the news.  Soon enough, his brother John came over to the house and Dad, John, and a very surprised me got into the car to go and make arrangements for Grandma's funeral.  This was the first time in my life that I had been included in an affair that normally was reserved for adults.  Of course, I was almost seven years old at the time.  We drove to the Blake and Lamb Funeral Home and sat around this table.  My father and his brother did all of the talking.  I decided to be quiet and only offer advice if it was asked for.  They managed to handle it themselves without my savant wisdom to guide them.  The time came to pick out a casket for Grandma.  The man in the dark suit bid us follow him and he opened a door and we descended into the bowels of the funeral home, going down these rickety stairs.  I still remember how they creaked as we went slowly down.  At the bottom of the stairs were dozens of metal and wooden boxes.  My father told me that these were coffins or caskets that dead people were placed in.  I was in awe and a little bit frightened.  After a few minutes, the deal was done and we left the dungeon-like basement and with handshakes all around we left the funeral home and made our way back home.  We were not home for long because we next got back into the car and we drove to Robert Hall, a place that sold suits. The men all were outfitted in black suits and the women folk, mom, and my two sisters bought appropriate outfits.  The next day, dressed in our new finery, we went to the funeral home. We were directed to the parlor on the second floor and we walked up and into this large room. There, against the wall, under pinkish colored lights, was my Grandmother, her hair was in some sort of style that she never would have worn while alive and she was in a dress that, while beautiful, did not look like something she would wear. The whole thing was quite surreal even to a youngster like me.  My father then said that today and tomorrow we would be attending Grandma's wake.  Then the pieces began to fit and I asked why we just didn't wake her up then and take her home.  He explained that she was dead, that she would not wake up and that we would bury her on Saturday.  I had come to an Adam and Eve moment in my life.  Up until Dad explained death, I had knowledge of good.  Now, after being given a bite of the apple, I knew about the other side of the equation.  Now, my Grandmother was not a church going person so the Catholic Church in the self-righteousness of the period refused to do a Mass for her.  She was baptized, so she was allowed burial in a Catholic Cemetary.  The funeral directors did some sort of service at the funeral home and we went to the cemetery.  I remember looking down into the hole before the casket was placed over it.  The funeral director said some more saccharine, one size fits all prayers and we left, the box containing grandma was left behind and I understood that death was a forever sort of thing.  

I've been to other funerals and each time I remember the first time I was introduced to what St. Francis calls Brother Death.  It scared me when I was young.  Today, as my turn to experience first hand what it is like to die gets closer, the fear is no longer there.  To be sure, I am in no rush but I do believe that we will all face death alone no matter how many people are around us.  I also believe it will be peaceful and the transition from life to eternal life will be seamless to us.  I like to think of it as inhaling my final breath on earth and exhaling it in heaven. 

I firmly believe that God does not abandon us when we go through the process of dying.  I believe that our returning to Him is very precious in His sight.  The stories about the tunnels of light, I find comforting.  I also pray for the poor souls in purgatory so I am hoping to have some friends there to greet me and to usher me into the presence of the Lord.  We will all be together again in heaven. You will be with your family and know absolutely everyone!  There will be joy and peace and rest from the struggles of this world and we will be awe struck at the beauty and the love of God for His children. 

So, what do you take home after reading all of this?  I would hope you would take away two things.  First, that you, as a person, the real you is loved by God for who you are.  Secondly, be not afraid because this love will keep you safe in His arms both now when you cannot see Him and especially on that day when you do.   God Bless! 

Purgatory is a place of hope and cleansing. The Holy Souls know that they will one day go to heaven, they have that irrevocable hope and a passion for loving God fully.  They cannot help themselves and they depend on us to pray for them.  Please remember them in your prayers today.