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Today is the day that we set aside to honor the most important people in the world, our mothers. I want to examine in a cursory manner the relationship between Jesus and His Mother. I say cursory because books can and have been written about their relationship. How would we rate Mary as a mother using the standards of the twenty-first century as our model? We will look at a few moments in their combined lives and then total up the score.
Birth
Well, Mary passes the first test of being a good mother because she decided to give birth. In her time there was no "choice" in the matter and she was in a tight spot indeed. She was betrothed to Joseph who knew her in every way except in a carnal way. He loved Mary and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. At this moment, to him, she was an ordinary girl that caught his attention and who had agreed to marry him. The betrothal period was about a year during which time Joseph would prepare a home for his new bride. This conveyed all of the rights of marriage on the couple including the right to engage in intimacy but it was the custom to refrain until the marriage was solemnized. When Mary went away for three months and came back three months pregnant it presented a dilemma for her. Back then they had a cure for unwed motherhood and it was called stoning. If she was found to be with child and Joseph claimed that he was not the father there would have been a quick fancy trial followed by an immediate execution of the death sentence. Mary who knew the child was a holy one kept steady and told Joseph who must have been heartbroken. That he had a dream and he understood all and took Mary into his house, the betrothed and he became man and wife. In today's world, Mary could have considered having the baby murdered by being vacuumed out of her womb, or she could have taken a "Plan B" pill to cause a miscarriage. But today, she would be in no danger because being pregnant before marriage is not seen as being wrong anymore. But back then, she would have had to leave her home, never to return, and go to some far-away place, have her baby and make her way in the world as best as she could. A single mother was a novelty back then and as a woman, without means, she would have had a hard time. So, Mary put her faith in God and she had the child and they named Him Jesus.
Compliance
One thing all mothers, from earliest times, had to do was to be sure that all of the legal niceties were taken care of. She and Joseph took their baby, the Child of Promise, to the temple and before they could even get into the inner courts, a man stopped them and took the Infant in his arms and told Mary what she already knew. He told her that this Boy would be a sign and a sign that was rejected and that He would be the rise and fall of many in Jerusalem. Simeon also prophesized that a sword would pierce her heart too. She must have left the temple after Joseph and her sacrificed two turtle doves, the sacrifice of a poor family in thanksgiving for the birth of their child. Mary and Joseph also traveled with Jesus to Passover when He was twelve and panicked when they seeming lost Him. Was he kidnapped? Was he hurt? They searched for him for three days until they found Him in the temple teaching the elders and asking questions of them who were amazed at the wisdom he had at his tender age. Mary asked her Son why He had done this and Jesus gave an answer that had I given it to my parents would have resulted in a grounding that would still be in effect today. He told them that He had to be about His Father's business. Then he left with them and the Bible says He was subject to them.
Teaching
The mother was responsible for teaching the children in the ways of the Lord. The father helped a bit but it was not considered his job. So Mary taught Jesus, who, even though He was God, he still had a human brain that needed to be taught the rules, regulations, rituals, and traditions of the Jewish world. Yes, Jesus was God and yes he possessed a brilliant mind but He still had to strive to learn about what it was like to be a Jew in the first century and Mary taught Him and taught Him well. He knew more than those that had been sent to study under famous rabbis. That is why when he came under scrutiny by the temple gang they were amazed because they could find no one who would admit to training him formally. So Mary did a great job for sure.
Kick-Starting
A mother eagle sometimes has to kick her child out of the nest so that the child could start to depend on his own devices, find his own food, find a mate and perpetuate the species. At Cana, it appears that Jesus was not quite ready to start his ministry. Mary probably looked into his eyes and with her eyes, the eyes of a mother saw some hesitancy, some unsureness, and yes, probably even some fear. Let's face it. Jesus was very comfortable with His life. He had lived thirty years in relative peace and enjoyed putting the lessons learned from Joseph into practice. He loved the smell of wood shavings and was proud when a project brought in a small bonus because the people were so grateful for the wonderful work He did for them. He was proud that He was able to take care of His mother. So, knowing that Jesus could help their friends whose party had run out of liquid refreshment, she asked her son. Jesus responded saying basically, "Yeah, what do you want me to do about it? It isn't time yet." Mary shrewdly told the waiters to do whatever Jesus told them to do and their wine problem would be solved. They did, it was, and Jesus started to be watched by people and reluctantly, Jesus gave up the peace and serenity of home life and took His mission on the road. Mary, His mother kick-started the mission,
Consoling
We jump forward three years and the worst has come to be. Jesus has been condemned, has been tortured, and is now carrying a cross to be nailed upon on Calvary. He wills Himself forward and He sees His mother. She approaches and their eyes meet. That brief moment gave Jesus a boost of energy and He stared into her eyes and was going to say something but the Roman guard pushed Him forward. But never in history was it more important for two people to look at each other. I believe that each understood that this is what had to happen. Mary for her part mourned for her Son and Jesus in these last few moments of life came up with an idea to keep His mother safe in the world, He would entrust her to John the Apostle. With this matter taken care of the Savior marched on.
Mourning
Jesus was removed from the cross. His body limp and cold was placed into the arms of His mother who would have a moment to say goodbye. Her tears mixed with the rain that was falling and the dripped on her dead Son's body. She sobbed and cried. She was inconsolable. Jesus's body was pried from her hands and taken away for burial. She, like any mother who has to bury a child thought of their happy lives with Joseph and then with just her and Jesus. More tears fell. Thunder sounded in the distance and she rose up and after helping with the burial, she went home to mourn afresh. Love of a human will always end badly. It is our fate to die and that is an unchanging law. In every pair of people, there will be a parting and that parting will be painful and will leave scars. Time will heal the pain but the loss you feel when someone is called home to God or more simply dies is a common human experience. Even Jesus, the Son of God felt it when Lazarus died.
So, How Mary Measure Up?
I think we can safely say that Mary was a good mother. She falls into the one-hundred percentile. Every mother should try to emulate her. We are commanded to honor our father and mother. Jesus followed this commandment to the letter and fulfilled it perfectly. But what about those of us who did not have a satisfying experience at home with our mother? Perhaps she was mean, or maybe an alcoholic or maybe she thought of herself over her child or children. Do we have to honor such mothers or are we free to hate them and cut them out of our lives forever? We are not commanded to honor our father and mother if they were perfect parents. No, the commandment does not say that. What we are to do with imperfect parents is to, as best as we can, see our way clear to forgive them. I know that this is hard and may even be impossible for us to do without the help of God. We must try and we must ask for help. We need not put ourselves in harm's way. We just need to be thankful to our mother for the life she gave us and we need to pray for her and for the healing of any pains and scars she may have inflicted on us. We must be generous with our prayers. We may never sit down with them for coffee again but we can request that both they and ourselves can heal and maybe even one day reunite.
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