Why Do You Persecute Me? - Conversion For Fun and Prophet

First reading	Acts 9:1-20 ©

This man is my chosen instrument to bring my name before the pagans

Saul was still breathing threats to slaughter the Lord’s disciples. He had gone to the high priest and asked for letters addressed to the synagogues in Damascus, that would authorize him to arrest and take to Jerusalem any followers of the Way, men or women, that he could find.

  Suddenly, while he was traveling to Damascus and just before he reached the city, there came a light from heaven all around him. He fell to the ground, and then he heard a voice saying, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?’ ‘Who are you, Lord?’ he asked, and the voice answered, ‘I am Jesus, and you are persecuting me. Get up now and go into the city, and you will be told what you have to do.’ The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless, for though they heard the voice they could see no one. Saul got up from the ground, but even with his eyes wide open he could see nothing at all, and they had to lead him into Damascus by the hand. For three days he was without his sight and took neither food nor drink.

  A disciple called Ananias who lived in Damascus had a vision in which he heard the Lord say to him, ‘Ananias!’ When he replied, ‘Here I am, Lord’, the Lord said, ‘You must go to Straight Street and ask the house of Judas for someone called Saul, who comes from Tarsus. At this moment he is praying, having had a vision of a man called Ananias coming in and laying hands on him to give him back his sight.’

  When he heard that, Ananias said, ‘Lord, several people have told me about this man and all the harm he has been doing to your saints in Jerusalem. He has only come here because he holds a warrant from the chief priests to arrest everybody who invokes your name.’ The Lord replied, ‘You must go all the same because this man is my chosen instrument to bring my name before pagans and pagan kings and before the people of Israel; I myself will show him how much he himself must suffer for my name.’ Then Ananias went. He entered the house, and at once laid his hands on Saul and said, ‘Brother Saul, I have been sent by the Lord Jesus who appeared to you on your way here so that you may recover your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.’ Immediately it was as though scales fell away from Saul’s eyes and he could see again. So he was baptized there and then, and after taking some food he regained his strength.

  He began preaching in the synagogues, ‘Jesus is the Son of God.’

Today we read about Saul an eager and devoted man who was ready to go to great lengths to stamp out this Jesus cult which was rocking the temple to its foundations.  Day by day he saw good people being lured away by the smooth-talking of the followers of that crucified pious faker who claimed to be the Son of God.  It seemed to Saul that no one was taking this cult seriously.  The chief priest and the Sanhedrin sat around and talked and talked and talked and at nightfall they were no closer to a plan to rid the people of the Jesus Cult.  Saul approached them and agreed to take on the responsibility of ridding Judea of this menace.  He was very successful in the city but some had fled to other cities and slipped through the fine sieve that he constructed.  He armed himself with letters of authorization and began to hunt these Christians on the road.  Then, he was thrown from his horse, blinded, and he heard a voice asking "Why are you persecuting me?"  Saul was a bit shaken but found the voice to say, "Who are you?"   He received the answer that he never expected to hear, "I am Jesus."

Thus began the conversion of one of Christendom's greatest evangelists.  In a way, his conversion story is much like the story of many of us.  Oh, we may not have seen a bright light, or have fallen from a horse or even been struck blind but each of us has a conversion story, something that propelled us on the way to being a faithful follower of Jesus.  I think that in my case it was two things that happened to me when I was a small boy.  Each incident involved a woman being Christ for and to me.  First was my mother Violet (I had a pet name for her, it was "Mom.")  She faithfully took me to church with her every Sunday. She made sure that I knew that this place we were going to was the House of God and was not a place to use any other voice than a whisper. She pointed out the tabernacle to me and said that Jesus was there. I tried to be very good at church.  I tried to follow what the other people were doing.  When they made the sign of the cross, so did I.  Except it looked more like I was shoeing flies away than an actual sign of the cross.  I was impressed that all of these people were here to visit Jesus.  There was music and the priest read a story about Jesus and then he spoke about it, which I didn't understand.  But I was fascinated by the whole thing, the quiet, the people praying, the little box where Jesus was and the fact that I had been brought here by my mother so it had to be a good place to be. 

The second woman was always dressed in the same clothes, black and white and she wore a veil.  She was known by many names but the two that we children used the most was "sister" and on ocassion, we would raise our hand and  chant her other name as we clamored for her attention and said, "sss sss sss."  Yes, forty kids trying to get sister to call on them.  It kind of sounded like a convention of snakes.  This sister taught us that Jesus loved us.  What converted me was simply the story she told about Jesus leaving the ninety-nine safe sheep and going out to look for the one that was lost.  When He found the lost sheep, He would pick it up and carry it back home on His back.  Sister showed a picture of Jesus doing that and I, from that day forward, was convinced. My conversion to becoming a real Christian had begun. 

Very few of us are converted like Saul was.  Saul, whose name was changed to Paul, was converted in one big incident and he never looked back from that moment on.  The cult he had once hated became the Church that he loved unto death.  For me, my conversion is an ongoing process.  I heat up for a while and then I seem to cool down.  Later, I realize that I have begun to stray from the path and I reconvert myself and for a time I work harder on myself and try to get closer to Jesus. When will I be fully converted?  I don't think any sooner than when I stand before Jesus.  Everyone is converted when they see Jesus face to face.  For some, this conversion comes too late because when they look into the face of Christ, they can only see their failures, their acts of self-love and their refusal to adhere to the Words of Christ.  Jesus does not accuse them, they confess how they have failed to Jesus but they feel no remorse. These are the ones who will prefer to spend their eternity away from God and their request will be granted.  The rest of us will also see our failures but as we look into the eyes of our Savior we will see how He even used our failures to create good in the world. We will look in His eyes and see the love He has for us, his servants, and will bid us take our place among the Saints of heaven.  

My suggestion to you is to keep converting yourself.  Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and re-convert again and again, as many times as is needed to be the Friend of Jesus, who is very happy to carry a lost sheep such as yourself back to the fold.