"I Couldn't Believe My Eyes"

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve,
was not with them when Jesus came.
So the other disciples said to him, "We have seen the Lord."
But Thomas said to them,
"Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands
and put my finger into the nail marks
and put my hand into his side, I will not believe."
Now a week later his disciples were again inside
and Thomas was with them.
Jesus came, although the doors were locked,
and stood in their midst and said, "Peace be with you."
Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here and see my hands,
and bring your hand and put it into my side,
and do not be unbelieving, but believe."
Thomas answered and said to him, "My Lord and my God!"
Jesus said to him, "Have you come to believe because you have seen me?
Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed."

Today is the Feast Day of Saint Thomas the Apostle. He is a person that became known as Doubting Thomas. In this, he resembles the majority of the human race because all of us are doubters.  But if Thomas entertained so many doubts about Jesus, why did he keep coming back to the others who were associated with the evidently disgraced Messiah?  

Deep inside himself, although he had doubts, he also had hope that pushed him to conquer his doubts. Thomas knew that Jesus was something special and he really wanted to believe that the search for a savior was over. The devil knew that Thomas would work hard to spread the Gospel and he built a fire of doubt in the soul of Thomas.  But the power of the devil was weak when compared with the faith that the Lord had built up in the soul of Thomas and he just had to come back to be with the other followers of Jesus. He did at one point allow his doubts to be known.  He said that he would not believe unless he could see and feel each of the Holy Wounds.  Jesus saw to it that he had the opportunity to do so but the Bible does not describe Thomas actually touching the wounds, instead, the faith he had in Jesus poured out, the minuscule pinprick flame of doubt was extinguished and falling to his knees he exclaimed, "My Lord and my God." 

We too can have doubts sometimes about the very core issues of our faith.  "How can Jesus be in that little sliver of bread?"  "People don't rise from the dead."  "Is Mary REALLY in heaven?"  "Is there nothing but blackness after we die?"  "How can God permit such evil to exist in the world?"  Yes, doubts do occur in every believer's life and some of them can be very profound and some of them can follow us throughout our whole life.  But, we too have a reservoir of faith that we can call on. We cannot understand all the ways of God.  We cannot always understand why things happen the way they do but we must have the Hope that what is happening will eventually be for the good because God can and will use what we see as a failure to ensure His triumph.   So, on this Feast of St. Thomas, remember he is not known as Thomas the Doubter, rather that he is known as St. Thomas the Apostle.  

Please pray for the poor souls in Purgatory.